Tuesday, February 17, 2009 @11:15 PM
godddddd. i have blister that is damn irritating. made some cheesecake last night with greg and jolynn. baked all th way till like 145. then greg had t zhao. so i waited fr my cake t cool down and by th time it cooldown it was alr 3am. godddd.
yesterday greg and i were like back t secondary school times. we were talking about all th stupid things we've done during these past 10 years of our friendship. all th troubles we got into together in school, fun times we had class; after school etc. it was kind of funny t come t think back what we've done in th past esp th past 4 years.
today was kind of a miserable day. so miserable that i did nt even have money t eat. bloody hell. luckily desmond treated me t lunch cos i helped him fr his food cost exam. and as usual lessons were boring as hell. aft sch wen t study with kieran at starbucks at forum. on th way there we shared about our secondary school life and something else. and also how contradicting a human can be.
greg asked me th same question again last night. and i still can't find th answer t it. or actually; i dare not answer him.
&&
t be honest i may say i've had enough of you; but deep in my heart i still love you. every time i tell myself its easy t get over this and yes its easy t get over this but every time when i hear your name, see you or even hear your voice everything just come's back.i know very clearly that holding this on will not bring this relationship or rather friendship into a level that i want. i think it's time that i try t change this love that i have for you into a sibling type of love. idk how am i going t do it. i'm just gonna try. but actually i did try before but it didn't work out. it tears my heart knowing that you are hurting inside for someone else; and there's nth that i can do about it. actually i really want t do smth about it but i just dont know how to. i do not know how t mend your heart neither know how t even talk t you esp after what happened. knowing that you are sick i really wanted t go down t your house and take care of you but th way things are now i really do not know how t do it. i think my only way of loving you now is just t help you whenever you need my help; do anything that you want me t do. that's th least i think i can do or express my love for you now.
一颗爱你的心; 时时刻刻为你转不停--
Jolynn; i love you
