Tuesday, December 02, 2008 @1:01 AM
wooooooo. i just finished doing some work fr my ec. it took me like an hour or so. my god i cant believe that it actually took me that long lol.
well i'm here blogging cos i have quite a lot of thought running through my mind now.
its like hmmm i dont know, i really do not know which direction i should head to now. its like everything's so confusing. i dont even know i should carry on like that or just make up my mind and move on. i'm so afraid that if i were to something it would affect our relationship or even friendship. when i mentioned that we should just stay as friends, woah i did not know what got into me. its like i really really really HATE to say it but i still said it cos' i did not wan t see u hurt any further. i really hope i can be th one who cures th pains and hurts that u've been undergoing but somehow maybe im nt th one. its like maybe ure simple expectations of a christian boyfriend or a non-smoking boyfriend i cant even achieve that. i'm willing to change anything or maybe everything except my religion just fr you. well maybe we're meant not t be together, maybe it was a mistake; a big mistake. actually its not even a mistake t even fall fr u cos aft all its all worth it.its like everyday i dont know th first thing that comes into my mind is you you and you. maybe im turning psychotic; or im really psychotic.hahah. well maybe theres another guy meant fr u. someone who doesnt smoke,is a christian, can take care of you, not hurt you and most importantly love you better than me.
its really hard; its really hard for me t do th things i need t do. but by doing it will make me see you happy i will go all th way.sometimes i really wna say " i'm the one who wants t be wif you" but but but den again i cant say it cause it will only cause u more problems den of a help so yeah. but den again deep inside i hope you'll feel it too.arghhh. maybe in your heart i'm just a big brother and nothing more than that. i dont even mind being your spare tyre if u need one; as long u feel better i wouldnt mind being ure spare tyre fr th rest of my life.
&i really love you, it may sound damn fake or too fast t even say love but everything i say its from th bottom of my heart. however you may see it,i'm still gna say it i love you wong min'er, jolynn.
theres really so much i wna say or do but i just cant seem t do it. im really lost
alrights time fr me t go sleep. gotta wake up early t do work.
i don't know, should i stay or should i go?
