and yes ! its finally holidays ! wooooooo ! been waiting fr it so long but somehow i wished that it would never come cause it marks th end of th practicum and gotta head back to school t study again. somehow i wished th practicum time would be longer but then again it wont so yeah. heh.


so fast; at th blink of an eye. 2008 is approaching to an end already. so many things had happened this year. its like woah! the year 2008 saw many changes be it friends, school, life etc. somehow its all these changes that mould us t what we are today.

this year really made me see through th meaning of 'friends come and go'. it is a year that saw many of us heading our own paths be it army, poly, re-taking of o's etc. we are mostly preoccupied with our own school work or interests. there was a day i went down t dome, i was shocked. shocked at th fact tht there were many new faces but sadly only a few old faces. th 'dome' now isnt th 'dome' we used t noe. i remembered when dome was at its 'prime' at any point of time dome had at least 10 people we knew there but sadly now its hard t even get that number during weekends. somehow dome made us see through life in a way or another, we gotta see th 'other' side or rather th hard side of life. but no matter what i would have never regretted hanging out with this group of friends as i have gained more than what i lost.

friends really do come and go and they really do especially at our age. sometimes its really ironic when someone can call th person 'brother' just because that person at tht point of time had helped him in a major way. and if something were t happen in between th friendship they will become enemies. friends split mainly cause of 3 reasons. money, girls and drugs. its so disappointing t see that happen t some of my closest friends. but somehow no matter what they have become i will still remember them when they were at their best and cherish th good times we went past together. at this age we are very vulnerable t changes and it is also th stage that we really start t learn about the 'real' world. its not as simple as we thought it would be. there's so many things that 'could' or 'would' happen and we wouldnt even expect it.

in this 'real' world its really a very cruel world. and yes only th fittest will surive. and yes when it comes t this real world everyone is selfish. most people can just turn their backs on their closest friends just because of money or something that would get them their own personal benefeits. are friendships measure by money? nowadays even family members can fall out with each other because of this very evil thing called money. is it really that important? yes it is important in a way or another but can money buy happiness? money can buy happiness in a way but can it bring u eternal happiness? yes without money you would be miserable but without friends isn't it worst off? sadly; many people fall to th temptation of being greedy for money and some people just 'buy' friendships with their money. th term of 'when you drink people drink with you; when you cry you cry alone' is so true. so many people have left their so-called friends when they are out of cash or when they are at their lowest points. humans can be so greedy till they can betray their friends or even their own family. its such a powerful thing so powerful that even man himself who invented it can't take control of it.

girls; also another powerful 'thing' that tears friendships apart. so many times th best of friends can be enemies because of girls. are relationships more important than friendships? is it worth it to give up a friendship cos a girl? wooooooo i wont wna start on this topic as i'm too lazy t type and if i were t type it would be oh so massive !

drugs; this powerful little substance can cause insanity in a person and thus hurting friendships. can th 'high' in drugs really bring happiness forever and is it really that enjoyable t get 'high' when u are taking th risk of getting hooked on it? have drug abusers ever thought of how their close friends feel when they do what they do? do they even care about how their family would feel if they were t find out? some take it t relieve their pain, some t run away from their problems and some take it just for pure enjoyment. but would all these temporary 'happiness' or 'relieve' help solve th problem or make u happy forever?

but no matter what you say or do they past can never come back and can only stay as memories. many a time we choose t live in th past and hope that it can be relived but it never comes true. everything; everyone is ever-changing. but are they changing for th better or th worse. worse to you or good t them? there's so many ways of looking at things. this past one year had made me look at life with different perspectives. wooooooo. ohwells.

somehow i really missed th times when i could go out anytime i liked; do anything that i wanted t do. but now due t school i can't do that. shatec almost killed my social life and i hardly have any chance t go out and enjoy but after all it was worth it cause it is laying th stepping stone towards my career. somehow i happy that i came into shatec as i'm doing much better in my school work compared t how i fared in secondary school. i'm at least putting in more effort into my school work now and somehow my efforts paid off. 3.5 point GPA ! wooo. but i'm afraid that i cant maintain it. lol. its like super fast and 9 months of school had passed means its only 3 more months till i step out t th industry as a trainee chef. somehow i can't wait for that t come but then again i dont wan it t come as that would seriously kill my social life. oh wells im gna have as much fun as possible before i head t attachment.



it's starting to get old,that story left untold
reflect before we walk into what we already know.
didn't try to fix what we thought were problems
staring at your reflection every day can make or break my heart away
when you won't listen to what's hard for me to say
and once again we're further away from what we never had
just run away with so much left to share.
we're much too young to throw away our cares
there's no sense in regretting what's been said in our yesterdays
we're getting backwards double, we can look ahead
and I would walk so much further just to know what I'm doing here
and there's no end to what i'd give, to know just what you meant when you said
how could I feel alive? when we can't help but break our backs just to survive?
is this another time we can't control our lives?





i decided i gotta move on and not look back anymore as it wouldnt help me in any way. no point hoping fr smth tht will never happen. i'm just gna move on and concentrate on my studies and soon enough my career. mannnnn i dont know how many years i would take t become a successful chef. i dont even want to think of it lol.

its been a year or so since he left and i'm still missing him. missing th time we shared together. i really wished that he never left cause he meant everything t me. when he left th pain was so unbearable really so unbearable. wah i can't believe it i'm actually tearing while i'm typing this. maybe somehow his departure wasnt so easy t forget after all. ah im nt gna continue about this topic as i'm on th verge of crying like a baby.


when I am down and oh my soul so weary

when troubles come and my heart burdened be

then I am still and wait here in the silence

until you come and sit awhile with me

YOU raise me up so I can stand on mountains

YOU raise me up to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on YOUR shoulders

YOU raise me up to more than I can be





i miss you and love you =((; my dear ahkong <3

&& i'm still loving you. jolynn <3

i'm bored, so i'm here blogging.








i gotta wake up and move on from this dream.


i got so much t say but i don't feel like typing it here.


emolation time ! woooooooooooooooooo !




感情已那么深; 叫我怎么能收手?

what a interesting christmas !







woooooo. basically did nth but sleep. wooooooo.





im so bored !




damn i shall go organise my thoughts.


&& i'm still loving you; wong min'er, jolynn

wooooooo. im feeling oh so good now. im like having fever and im waterfalling like nobody's business.




等待,我随时随地在等待;做你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问;这是爱
我猜你早就想要说明白我觉得自己好失败
我愿意改变;重新再来一遍
我无法只是普通朋友;感情已那么深叫我怎么能收手?
但你说: 'i only want to be your friend' 做个朋友
我在你心中只是 just a friend; 不是情人
我感激你对我这样的坦白但我给你的爱暂时收不回来
so i 我不能只是 be your friend
明知不该去想;不能去想偏又想到迷惘
是谁让我心酸谁让我牵挂是你啊
我爱你是多么清楚多么坚固的信仰
我爱你是多么温暖多么勇敢的力量
我爱你是来自灵魂来自生命的力量
我不管心多伤,不管爱多慌,不管别人怎么想;爱是一种信仰.



its never possible t compromise between both a friendship and a relationship.



so why say i want you to be happy and follow your heart when things will always be th same? do you ever know by doing that you make me even more confused? follow my heart and it'll never go wrong? i followed my heart and everything went wrong. seeing your post that you wont ever have feelings back shattered my heart. i mean is there even a point saying t follow my heart if nth's gna change?well i ain't gna continue fooling myself anymore thinking tht theres a chance anymore cause aft all why wait fr somebody whos nt even there? why even bother asking whether you still hold that special place in my heart when it doesnt really matter after all?but i just wan t let u noe u will always hv tht special place in my heart. i really dont know what more t say at this point of time when everything seems so gloomy.



everyday you take time out to listen to me.you talk to me, smile at me, laugh with me, and have fun with me.well, I talk, smile and laugh too, but inside I'm hurting.Deep down it hurts to be with you because I love you and you are only a friend.th hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up. moving on is simple,it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult. I may regret the way we ended, but I will never regret what we had.



part of loving someone is learning to let go and this time its really time t let go. no matter how much its gna hurt me i'm gna act as if i'm okay and move on. i just gna pretend that nth's happened t me and pretend tht everything is alright even though its not. it's gna be hard doing it but im still going t do it cause aft all tht is th most i can do fr u frm now on.i really hate doing this and i really wished tht i didnt choose this path but i dont wan any confusion any further. i can wait fr u as long as it takes but would it even make a wee bit of difference? if the end of it all, my heart would just be broken. i think i would rather try to forget you and me sharing the same feelings and if the end of it all i'd see myself waiting for someone who is not even there, i'd rather forget my love for you, even if it would hurt me so. wait wait wait! you didnt even share th same feelings after all. hahah. aft all i was just a fool for you. given time i'll forget but its gna take quite a while. may be days may be weeks may be months. i dont know.



aft much confusion, thoughts & consideration. its time t go & let go.




&&i'm still loving you =(



i was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that th mended whole was as good as new.what is broken is broken and i'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as i lived.




你始终没有爱过
你在敷衍我; 一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心无力继续
这种回忆不值得我提起
不值得想起不值得哭泣
这段感情早就应该放弃;早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
我决定不为你而毁了心;放弃爱你


&& there is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go


how can I lose something that I never had?

woooooooooo time t blog !



i can't sleep th whole night and yes i'm going imh crazy ! wooooooooooooo !


love is patient,
love is kind.
it does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
it is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.





once upon a time, something happened to me,it was the sweetest thing, that could ever be,a fantasy, a dream come true, it was the day that I met you. The first time I saw you, I knew it was true,I'd love you forever and that’s what I'll do.You don't know what you do to me; you don't have a clue.You have no idea what it’s like to be me, looking at you.Why is it easy to fall in love and yet so hard to be loved back? Why should I feel such if destiny permits me not?Why do I have to fall if it's you I cant have?Why is there a you in me but never a me in you? If I hadn't met you,I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you,I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did,I do, and I will and I would never regret having done that.


th sun can have the sky and it wouldnt matter. th night can have its stars and i woudnt care.tomorrow can be majestic yet remain empty, for it simply wouldnt matter without you there. no more words no more lies let it go before it dies. hear th words hear th pain. the last of of ends in vain. sweet in start; bitter in end. hearts will break; never bend.crushes u get over, and the tears go away,but loving u is different, the tears will always stay.


the hardest part of loving someone is knowing when t let go,and knowing when t say goodbye. and yes its time t bid farewell to this love. I’m going t smile and make you think I’m happy,I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry,I’m going t let you go in style, and even if it kills me-I’m going t smile. Often, times we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to.Though that doesn’t mean thatwe've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care.Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you. better never t have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are nt there.

wanting her is hard t get.
loving her is hard t regret.
losing her is hard t accept.
but with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet


nothing's gna change destiny, whatever's meant t be will work out perfectly.

&& i love you jolynn :(((((((((((((


my mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me.


time fr me t stop i dont wna say anything anymore. i need some time alone.



&& i only wished that there was more than that; about me & you.

wooooooo. i just finished doing some work fr my ec. it took me like an hour or so. my god i cant believe that it actually took me that long lol.



well i'm here blogging cos i have quite a lot of thought running through my mind now.


its like hmmm i dont know, i really do not know which direction i should head to now. its like everything's so confusing. i dont even know i should carry on like that or just make up my mind and move on. i'm so afraid that if i were to something it would affect our relationship or even friendship. when i mentioned that we should just stay as friends, woah i did not know what got into me. its like i really really really HATE to say it but i still said it cos' i did not wan t see u hurt any further. i really hope i can be th one who cures th pains and hurts that u've been undergoing but somehow maybe im nt th one. its like maybe ure simple expectations of a christian boyfriend or a non-smoking boyfriend i cant even achieve that. i'm willing to change anything or maybe everything except my religion just fr you. well maybe we're meant not t be together, maybe it was a mistake; a big mistake. actually its not even a mistake t even fall fr u cos aft all its all worth it.its like everyday i dont know th first thing that comes into my mind is you you and you. maybe im turning psychotic; or im really psychotic.hahah. well maybe theres another guy meant fr u. someone who doesnt smoke,is a christian, can take care of you, not hurt you and most importantly love you better than me.


its really hard; its really hard for me t do th things i need t do. but by doing it will make me see you happy i will go all th way.sometimes i really wna say " i'm the one who wants t be wif you" but but but den again i cant say it cause it will only cause u more problems den of a help so yeah. but den again deep inside i hope you'll feel it too.arghhh. maybe in your heart i'm just a big brother and nothing more than that. i dont even mind being your spare tyre if u need one; as long u feel better i wouldnt mind being ure spare tyre fr th rest of my life.
&i really love you, it may sound damn fake or too fast t even say love but everything i say its from th bottom of my heart. however you may see it,i'm still gna say it i love you wong min'er, jolynn.

theres really so much i wna say or do but i just cant seem t do it. im really lost


alrights time fr me t go sleep. gotta wake up early t do work.

i don't know, should i stay or should i go?

heyheyhey !


im back to blogging cause i have nothing better to do besides work now.



wooo its been a long time since i've ever blog cos im either too lazy or im too tired.so yeah here it goes.



th past one month a lot things had happened.


th stupid hdb still wants t take back the flat and that SUCKS?well i really do not know in what way i can help my family. i really dont know. im like a lost of what to do now?well fuck that if th time comes i may just go crazy,IMH CRAZY.woooooooo.


hahah now coming to school.ec's like next week ! omgomgomg! its like so fast la my god.im like so nervous and like so worried abt it la my god. its like th biggest event tht we've been planning fr so long is finally coming.now its like most of th preparation fr it has been done and we are waiting fr th actual day. well we shall see whats gna happen fr tht day.


i'm actually at a lost of what t do. really at a lost of what t do. maybe the 'like' had turned into love. its like i dont know man th feelings just keeps getting stronger. sometimes i dont know how t love a person and most importantly love you. its like sometimes i dunno how express my feelings or maybe i just overdo it.i really do not know what i can do to make u feel better. when u cried on th phone it really hurts me and made me feel damn helpless cos i cant even do a single bit fr you. if by stepping out will make you feel better and less troubled i would just do that cos i cant bear t see u cry. i'll do whatever it takes just to see you happy. maybe it was a mistake to even say that i like you. now that th like has turned into love i really dont know whats gna happen frm now on. but even if my heart should break,you'd be th best mistake i've made. well i dont know what to do and what t say.theres like so i wna say but words cant seem t come out of my mouth when i wna say it.ohwells.

&I REALLY LOVE YOU WONG MIN'ER, JOLYNN

you say hello;inside i'm screaming i love you
you talk t him; and it burns me like th sun
i talk t me; but you can hear th pain i feel. you dont know
& i only wished that there was more than that; about me and you




well i think i shall stop blogging here.i dont know what to post anymore.

brian lin shixian, 21051990 acs junior,acs barker, SHATEC DCS 408B !
dota,sports,cooking,slacking,stoning


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