Monday, October 06, 2008 @4:56 PM
fk this shit;i cant take it anymore.
i do not noe who t talk to and i dont really feel like talking t anybody so here i am again t blog.
just as when i thought tht things were going better. NOPE !
i had alot of thoughts running through my head and i cant find a way out so im here t vent my anger.
well th useless just gets more fucking useless.one good example;my father!
he cant even do a simple like washing clothing.every fucking time he washes my clothes he wuld just fuck it up and he 'accidentally' fucking bleaches th colour away.he cant even take care of such a simple thing let alone tk care of my family.i never did fucking ask him t tk care of my family bt th least he culd fucking do is t wash clothes right.im really enraged now and im really trying t keep my anger under control; fortunately it is now but soon enough it wont be.
i cant stand this useless father of mine.if i could kill him i fucking would.all these years he brought nothing but pain and misery t my beloved family.all these years my mother has been sufferering ever since she was with my father.he nt only make himself bankrupt bt also made my mother bankrupt.he made my mother suffer not only physically; but most importantly mentally.now my mother might turn blind and every day shes worried abt her condition.i really do nt noe hw t comfort my mother, i really feel useless as her son.she gave up so much;so fucking much fr this family and this is what she gets frm him.when his cpf was drained out he told my mom t use her cpf t pay fr th flat.now my mother doesnt even have money in her cpf fr herself.
th worser th better eh;now my family might nt even have a hse t live in.th fucking hdb wants t take back th flat cuz my mother have no money t pay fr th flat thus owing hdb a huge amount of money.this is just fucking great man.every fucking year it just gets worser.i do not noe what will happen after hdb claims back th flat.theres so many thoughts running through my head.i really do nt noe who t turn to.i think im going crazy. i might just go fucking crazy and just kill him.
i really hate him i really fucking do.i just fucking wished he would die.he and his fucking brothers and sisters all deserves t fucking land in hell.fuck them.so many years ive tolerated all th fucking nonsense frm his brothers and sister and especially;him!so many fucking times they made my mother sad and they made me sad.i cant fucking take this fucking bullshit anymore.so many times .all these fucking years he failed terribly as a duty of a father;a husband and most importantly;a fucking human being.he has only brought more and more trouble t my family especially these past few years.i really fucking hate him.many a time people say tht when u have a son he comes t take back what he had done fr u th previous life, but NO it is th fucking other way round.i do nt have th fucking mood t do anything at all now.i'm really enraged im really fucking livid.words cant fucking express how i feel.th hate i have fr him now is even stronger and it is getting stronger day by day.soon enough retribution will fucking fall on him and his siblings;i do nt noe whether i can wait fr tht day.i really hope tht tht day will come fucking soon cuz im abt t go fucking beserk.i just feel like taking a knife and end his fucking miserable life and end my family's misery.FUCK THIS SHIT !
its only another 10 more days till my grandpa's 1st death anniversary.i really miss my ahkong.no matter how fucked up i was; my grandpa still gave his 101% fr me.i really love him and i really miss him.i hope tht my life wuld end soon and i can go down and accompany him.
i hope th world really ends in dec21 2012.cuz no matter what u fucking do,th good people will never ever fucking get what they deserve.frm this day on th old brian is dead and a new brian is borned.theres no point being optimistic abt things cuz being optimistic is just running away frm reality.it does nt help u in any fucking way.i used t believe tht theres is always a hope in life;but now facts has just proven me time and again tht theres no fucking hope.there no fucking good side.
i do nt now what i did my previous life t deserve such a fucking useless father; he is here t take back what i had taken away frm him.i feel like saying alotta things bt i just cant really note it all down cuz theres simply too many things tht i want t say.
i shall end here and seeya again soon dear blog.
