Thursday, July 26, 2007 @7:38 PM
Hellos all.
so today's another fucked up day.cuz once again because of changi general hospital's 'good' service.my mother and i wen t th hospital today at 1130 t visit my grandfather.first thing wen we entered th ward th receptionist said tht its nt visiting hours so leave.i was like wtf bt nvm.den wen we walked t my grandfather's bed we found him nt there.so we wen t asked th nurse whr did my grandfather go to.den she was oh he wen fr operation oredy in th morning.i was fucking pissed off because th fucked up hospital said tht they wuld inform my family if my grandpa was going fr th op.i didnt blow up there as i was in th ward n didnt wan t disturb other patients.so we asked th nurse wen he wuld be bak den she told us tht there wuld nt be a confirmed time tht he wuld be bak.
so aft tht we left our contact details n wen down t th canteen t eat lunch.aft lunch we waited by my grandfather's bedside.we waited bt both my mother and i were too tired so we fell asleep.den abt an hr later i was woken up by my sister.she told us to go t th SICU.den i asked her whether my grandfather did th op oredy or nt her reply was no.she den told me tht she had to make a fuss before th hospital staff actually started finding where my grandfather was.den i was like wad in th fucking world is th fucking hospital doing.so we wen t th SICU t see my grandfather.he was so weak.he wanted t eat bt couldnt,he wanted t drink bt oso culdnt drink.i was fucking angry n sad.i wanted t blast at any of th hospital staff at tht moment den my brotherinlaw n sis said tht i shud do it aft my grandfather is discharged.
so i held my anger i kindly asked tht whr i can go find a person in charge t talk to.because i feel tht it is fucking fucking irresponsible to let at old man juz last minute inform him tht he has t go fr an op n his family members nt being there.i culd see my grandfather was very scared of anything tht th doctors do to him.let alone a fucking operation.i fucking wanted t blow up at tht time.
so i controlled my anger n wen t see my grandpa wen he was shifted to another ward..he was so weak,tired,hungry and thirsty.i very much wanted t go buy food and water fr him bt th fucking nurses said tht we had t wait till th doctors come n giv him a proper diagnosis.so aft like 45mins th fucking doctor finally came.so he gave my grandfather a checkup n found tht he has nt enough blood and had a minor heart attack.i was so fucking pissed at tht time.which old man wuldnt get an heart attack wen he is last minute informed tht he is going fr an op!n plus his family members are nt there i was fucking on th fucking verge of exploding.even wif my family arnd my grandfather wuld still be afraid of injections,changing of equipment etc.n they fucking didnt inform us n let him go fr th op n last minute cancelled it.HOW FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE !
so aft tht th doctor said tht my grandfather culd eat so my sister n brotherinlaw wen down t buy food n drinks fr him.aft tht i wen outside th ward benches there t sit down as i couldnt bare to look at my grandfather because hes in this current situation.i sat there n there were many many thoughts running through my head at tht time.aft awhile i fell asleep.
wen i woke up i my sister n brotherinlaw came bak fr home oredy cuz they wen t go buy fruits fr my grandfather.den nw another doctor was there.so he told my sis n my brotherinlaw abt my grandpa's current situation.
so aft tht my broinlaw came out n tell us abt my grandpa's situation.he said tht my grandfather because he had an heart attack tis morning he is in high risk of taking th op.he said tht there wuld be more than a 50% chance tht we might LOSE MY GRANDFATHER.n we had th be mentally prepared.i was fuckin devastated. i was fucking confused fucking sad.i dun know wad t do at all.i really didnt noe wad t do.even nw i oso dunno wad t do.im damn frustrated angry confused n sad at th same time now.im very fucking lost nw.fucking fucking lost.some pls help me !
i never wanted t lose tis grandfather of mine.i can nvr find another like him.hes been taking care of me fr th pass 17 yrs.i dun wanna lose him i really really dun wna lose him pls.im willing t trade 10yrs of my life fr one year of his.fuck why must this happen t him n why must he be in such a fucked up hospital wif fucked up service n whr everything is fucked up !FUCK !walan eh im praying hard tht he wuld be fine aft tis week.pls.
alrites i dunno wad t post oredy im fucking lost nw n yeah seeya all.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007 @6:25 PM
FUCK RAINY DAYS !
today's one of the most fucked up days of tis yr.my grandfather slip n fell down because of the slippery floor, thus causing him t break his hip-bone.he fell outside th cc.he went out actually t buy food fr me=(i shudnt hv fucking let him go.a stranger wrote a note n left it outside th door of my hse.den my mother woke me up n told me my grandfather fell down.i was like omg.so my mother and i rushed t th hospital.
we went to the a&e n yeah my grandfather was there.i wanted t rush in t go and see hws he doing.den th fucking nurse said tht only one person can go in at one time.i was like omfg.FUCK CHANGI GENERAL HOSPITAL.n i read th sign outside it said tht only 2 ppl are allowed in th a&e ward at one time.i was like wtf.den aft tht he was shifted t another department.finally i got t see him.i culd see he was in great pain.=((
aft tht he was admitted into th wards n yeah he was juz lying down.he couldnt even get up.i felt fucking guilty.fucking fucking guilty.so aft tht i stayed fr awhile to see wad th doctor had t say.n th said tht we hav t wait till th senior doctor t come give my grandfather a thorough check-up den they can see whether he is suitable fr th operation.aft tht i went home wif my sis n aft tht my sis told me nt t go bak n stay at home t rest cause i barely had an hour of sleep.so yeah i laid on my bed n kept thinking abt my grandfather.he cant eat or drink because th doctors said tht they had t wait fr th senior doctor t come see whether he can do an op before he can eat or even drink water.
i woke up n yeah first thing tht came into my mind was t call my sis t ask my grandfather hw was he.bt both my sis n brotherinlaw didnt pick up so i called my mom.den she said tht my grandfather had t go through a series of tests before he can do an operation n he had t wait 1-2hours before th test could be done.i was wtf.so yeah aft tht im here blogging.blogged fr awhile my sister called me t ask whether i called her den i was like yeah i called u.den she told me th same thing as wad my mother told me.aft tht she said tht ah kong is feeling very tired,hungry n he wants t take a piss bt cant piss anything out.wen i heard tht i was fucking sad.very fucking sad.den i requested t talk t my grandfather.he sounded so weak.tht made me feel very guilty and sad at th same time.i told him t nt move arnd too much in case he might injure himself during th process or wad.so yeah.
it fucking hurts me t see him in such pain n fucking hell he fell indirectly because of me.
i feel fucking guilty causing his fall n i feel like killing myself.it fucking sucks t see him in hospital i nvr ever wanted him t be admitted into th hospital.nowadays hes walking quite unsteabily.i fucking hate myself fr nt helping him go buy th food.i fucking regret it now.FUCK !i fucking love my grandfather n i dun wna see him hurt at all.hes been taking care of me since i was born.everytime i was at home in th morning he wuld ask me whether i wanted t eat n go out t buy food fr me.even though his down t his last $2 he wuld go out n spend th money FOR ME!wen i had no money he wuld giv me money t spend.wen i had no cigarettes he wuld buy fr me one pack.why th fuck must this happen t him !i really regretted nt waking up tis morning t buy or even to accompany him t buy.i fucking feel damn sad n guilty.theres a fucking kind of pain in my mind tht i can never desribe.its nt physically bt mentally.im really sry ah kong really really sorry.i swear i'll never let u walk alone again if im at home or wad.
i'm sorry ah kong,and i really love u.
thts all fr today.
-bye
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 @12:50 AM
HELLOS ALL !
I'M BACK !
well well its been a mother long time since i last posted due t internet problems n computer problems.
bt nw i bak wif a sorta new comp !
hahah past four months hv been more or less th same.nth really changed n yeah.bt still there were still some nice memories.
study wise its been going smoothly n yeah.luckily theres some of my frens n tuition coming in nt my maths n science cant make it.so yeah many ppl's prelims are coming soon bt yeah i do nt hv a paper t gauge where i stand.sian1/2.well gotta work fucking hard fr th o's.dun wna fuck it up at all.
ahah fr th family side everything's getting better.my sis found a job my father treats us better nw n yeah.fucking feel good abt tht n yeah.although wad he has done was fucking bastard bt yeah aft all we're father n son.n its oso good t hear tht my mom's getting better so yeah.
well town hasnt really changed much.pretty much th same except fr th new dome ! my god its like wow.bt th some coms hv lag so yeah.bt at least theres air-con n yeah.dome is still as strict as ever during school days.bt nw th dota teams are like improving by th day so yeah.
well i myself i felt tht i hv changed in a sense aft i gt expelled.bt hahah i found out tht im still in th school records n if i were t appeal bak i wuld stand a chance t stay in barker.ohwells.ive changed in a sense tht im nt th old pessimistic bastard n yeah.n oso learnt t look at things frm different persepectives.bt im still quite hot-tempered at times n yeah i dunno hw t stop tht shit.well tht fucking sucks.o lvl chinese has just passed today n yeah i didnt really expected it t like come so fast.im like fucking afraid tht i wil fuckup my o's tis year n yeah im gna work hard on it.
oh yeah today wen t dom's hse t study aft listening compre.he asked me t go his hse cause he was doing some raid so yeah i wen there n yeah we played n played den phaaaaap didnt really do shit except like a few sums.bt at least i did more than tht fucker.n dom is like a fucking bully t his brother patrick la.damn fucking cb t him hahahah.bt i gotta admit th brother is irritating at times bt hes cute la so i mean like why cant dom juz giv way t him.den aft i left his hse on th bus.dom told me tht patrick told his father tht dom was using th tv as th computer screen den aft tht th father oso found dom's cigarettes so its like a massive bomb on dom la.no cigarettes n no comp.hahahah.
so yeah i shall end here today.cant really think wad t type.gt some brain clogging.
so tk care all n ciaoboats !
-briann'
=))
maybe its juz me or wad my yeah im nw rather sian cuz yeah theres like problem wif my d2 n yeah i cant load shit n tis situation sucks.
