Wednesday, January 03, 2007 @12:35 AM
hellos!
havent been blogging fr th past two wks.been quite a busy n happening two wks.was also quite tired t blog so yeah.finally found a time nw t blog.
so th yr 2006 has oredy passed.many things had happened in tht yr.arguments/fights wif frens,having t appeal t go bak barker,mom's business screwing up,mom being admitted t th hospital,quarells wif my father n alotta shit.2006 is yr i think tht has made me seen through many things.it oso has made me learn many life lessons n oso noe alot of new ppl.it has also been quite a difficult yr fr my family cuz having t go through bankruptcy of mom,thus causing furniture in th hse t be confiscated by th bank.having alotta quarells n occasions tht i scolded my father n things he done tht has made me angry n sad.many other things oso hav made me break down.
seeing some of my frens nt make it bak t barker was quite a sad thing.on th day of collection of results i tot tht i wuld be one of those tht didnt make th mark fr th n lvl mark bt surprisingly i made it.so yeah on tht day helmy didnt make it n yeah helmy started crying den xw oso den i oso cant tank den cried.was quite sad t see helmy nt making.even though we're nt tht close bt stil yeah i stil cried.so yeah after tht i was occupied cuz i had t manage my mom's stall since she's sick n is in th hospital so i didnt really get t hang out much wif them. fr my family it has really really been a tough year.so tough tht i almost gave up.everything or every1 is like at one point against me n i couldnt take it.
my father was one of th worst,he made me feel like shit n he did alotta things tht has either let th family or my mom or me,his son down.stil bein a fucking bum n dun really take care of th family.complaining or quarelling over small shit making my mom feel like shit thus making everyone else in th family feel th same.fucking walked out on th family n shit like tht.didnt even care fr my mom even wen she was terribly ill n can sleep away.quarelling wif my mom almost every wk,even during my n lvls.all th things tht he had done made me feel damn pressurized.really a damn great dissapointment at him as a father n most importantly as a husband.working wif him at th stall was a total nightmare.he hardly helps n juz laze arnd doing nth.theres was one time tht he made me so pissed tht i walked outta stall n juz wanted t giv up on everything.at tht point of time i really felt hw my mom feel all these yrs.all th fucked up treatment tht he has been giving her.n alotta of other shit he has done t my family.
my grandfather he keeps me damn worried everyday.his fucking useless son keeps coming bak wen we're nt arnd n pester him fr money.everyday i live t wry tht something wil happen t him.be it whether he gets whacked or conned.his one of persons tht dotes on me most n yeah i really dun wan anything t happen t him.its quite sad knowing tht his sense of judgement n somethings are failing n does stupid things.
my mom,fr th past yr shes been through alot.she being a bankrupt was a great blow t her,although she doesnt show it bt i noe deep in her heart she feels damn sad as her pride is high.no doubt most of th time she doesnt understand me n does alotta things tht make me very sad n break down.bt stil she has been putting up all th nonsense tht my father has been giving her all these yrs.shes juz hanging there purely fr me.i feel damn fucked up wen i cant do anything t improve her life or wadsoever.tis mom tht i hv no doubt she may be unreasonable bt shes stil one of th best.wen she was in th hospital,my uncle bought fr her bird's nest.den while she was eating it she said"wah first time can eat bird's nest like tht"it was only one simple sentence,bt it had alotta meaning behind it. wen i heard tht i felt damn useless n sad tht i as her son cant even provide such a simple thing as bird's nest fr her t eat.n wen she said tht there was many things running through my mind.i as her son didnt really do anything much t make her proud of so yeah.my anda n sis,both of them oso hav gone through alot these past few yrs.n especially my sis she has gone through th most.no matter wad i did wrong or wad they wuld stil forgive me.their magnanimous heart they hav n th care n concern they show fr me theres really no way i can repay them.its like so many things they hav done fr me.i do not noe hw t tank them bt im gna try my best n get a good job n like give them a good treatment.nw abt myself n tis yr as a whole.well tis yr has been quite a life-experiencing/learning yr fr me.many things had happened fr me n my family.so many things tht had happened tht even i myself had almost wanted t giv up so many times.bt all these things hav sorta like made me "grow up" n in a sense made me more sensible.well thts th past n yeah 2007's gna be a new yr n hopefully a better year.aight i shall stop here fr today so yeah anws happy new yr t one n all!
=))briann'
