Monday, December 04, 2006 @10:37 PM
tuesday.
yeah hi im blogging even though im having a fucking high fever n bad headache.ok nvm abt lets start wif my day.
so yeah was at alex's hse til like 1230 den wen home.talked wif him fr awhile.shared abit here n there n yeah.so yeah tok cock den took a cab home.den phaaaaap i suddenly i realised i left my keys at his hse den phaaaap kena locked out.so last nite got stuck outside my hse fr quite long like arnd 2 plus den managed t get in th hse.den yeah talk cock on th phone wif cam n ter den phaaap cant tank den 4 plus den go sleep.arnd six plus i juz suddenly woke up n den like 5 secs later xw called.den i was like wtf 630 oredy?den yeah greg called den yatty msged den phaaap chiong packed stuff fr training den wen t xw hse t meet him so tht his father's culd fetch us t greg's hse.den wen reach greg's hse greg was ready t leave den phaaap chiong t marina.on th way there greg had some fakeshit singer cds.fucking funny la they way th sing.xw was like laughing all th way n yeah.830 we reached marina den picked jia up frm th mrt den go t th fishing pond.wah yat actually tanked th whole nite there alone.so yeah once we came he caught a fish.hahah.so yeah catched fishes den phaaap alot of funny things happened la.had quite alot of fun there bt yeah had t leave fr training.so yeah left arnd 1 plus n phaaap th bus came juz on time.hahah.at 1350 i met keith n elton at newton so we culd go police academy together.so yeah wen fr training so one sialan kao.tis fucker kept fucking staring n yeah wanted t soot him bt yeah held back fr a moment.den yeah trained n trained n yeah training was quite slack today cuz tmr gt a match against nyjc n yeah.so we are perfecting our line-outs,rugs n yeah alotta shit.so after training called greg cuz we were supposed t go t alex's hse bt phaaaap he said go there damn sian n he was at junyat's hse.den nvm called alex ask him t pass me my keys n yeah zhaoboated n left fr town.on th bus saw tht sialan kao again n yeah he stared again so yeah culdnt tank n wanted t soot him den keith kept stopping me saying tht we were a team n yeah.bt phaaaap fuck care him i stil wen t soot tht fucker n gave him a piece of my mind.den yeah tht shithead apologised n yeah reached town.reach town oredy saw th usual grp outside n yeah.slacked here n there den rematched dom cuz he was juz dulan tht he cant win me n yeah once again i won him.after tht wen t prata shop wif alexong,leonli n dom.after their makan they decided t go home den phaaap i was deciding whether i wanted t go home anot den yeah wen home cuz i was like having a fever.reach home n realised tht there was new furniture in th hse.was quite happy t see tht scene bt stil i hav like alot of things tht i wan t say out bt juz cant say it out.so yeah bathed den layed down on my bed.so yeah after tht dom called n yeah talked t him fr awhile n yeah.nw yeah i hav nth better t do n yeah im blogging.so yeah til nw even though so many shit im going through nw im stil liking her.its quite a stupid thing t do at such a time bt yeah.many things i wna say bt yeah juz cant really find where t start frm.its like all in bits n pieces.its really quite fucked up nw la.so many ppl liking her.n yeah its quite dumb continue liking her noeing tht it wuld lead t nowhere.tis feeling really sucks shit.ive found tht im nt th old brian tht i used t be one year back.so many things has happened n yeah nw i oso dunno why i cant juz control myself or rather my anger.every little i wuld juz get worked up n yeah.nowadays im so hot-tempered tht i cant even control myself like hw i did last time.n yeah nowadays i can hardly find my old cheery n happy-go-lucky self.nw everything seems like very serious t me n yeah keep thinking of things th serious way n nt juz think of th leparker way tht i used t think last time.toked t casey b4 n yeah asked him whether had i change over th past few months.n he said tht i changed t become a more mature guy bt also a more hot-tempered guy.i dun find myself matured or wad cuz its juz a normal 16 yr old wuld react n yeah juz dunno why sometimes ppl juz cant think tht way.its like is juz take a small little spark n yeah i wuld get motherfucking worked up n most of th times act on th impulse.i oso dunno why,tis is really quite fucked up.sometimes i wonder t myself wad has caused tis change t me.i cant really show my real self infront of ppl n yeah.til nw,my family cant exactly understand me.on th way home juz nw in th bus i had alot of thoughts going through my mind its juz tht i cant really sort it out.everything really seems like a fucking mess.its really quite fucked up tis feeling.n nw yeah i feel even more fucked up cuz im sick.bt if i dun release it on my blog i hv no where else t release it.two weeks frm nw is th collect of my n level results.i wonder everyday whr wuld i end up,i really dun wna fuck up bt chances of me doing so is great cuz i juz loose all my focus n my mind wuld juz black out.wad has done has been done so ive gotta see whether i can reap wad i sown.th relationship between my mother n i has oso gone fr th worse,nw she hardly even talks t me.even wen she sees me im like invisible t her n yeah.alotta shit going through my fucked up brain nw.i cant even analyse things properly at tis moment.tis is really fucking stupid.i oso dunno wad has caused tis major change in me.i really do wna change bt i dont noe hw t.it seems like everything i do wuld always fail n yeahi gotta do some soul-searching n yeah shall stop here.
ciaoboats
-briann'
