Monday, December 11, 2006 @12:54 AM
sunday.
hellos t one n all.so yeah nth t do nw so yeah im gna post.
today woke up at arnd 10 plus,called xw bt he didnt pick up cuz we were supposed t go casey's hse t watch movies.so yeah makaned breakfast.den after tht slacked n slacked den xw msged me den casey msged oso den yeah bathed den zhao t mrt t meet xw.after tht took a bus den phaaap wen i juz reached th interchange th bus tht we wanted t take juz left.so yeah waited n den wen t casey's hse.wen we reached his hse we saw his grandmother,his auntie n uncle n his mom.so yeah wen into his room slacked fr awhile den watched meet th parents.watched fr awhile den phaaaaap casey had t go meet his uncle n we had t leave so we left fr kovan t meet jason.reached kovan we saw them in th car again n yeah luckily didnt do tht thing we do.hahah so we xw n i were makaning n waiting fr jason t come.was quited sian den we played a game of dota den some stupid games n wen fr dinner.aftr awhile jason left den yeah was wif xw n yeah waited fr him t finish eating so we culd go.so yeah we took a bus home den we were playing guessing th award winner game fr th star awards.so after tht reached home den bathed den yeah wen on msn den had a cal frm cam den called casey t ask whether shaun was gg fr th chalet tmr so after tht he put me in a conference n yeah trouble started.i being my usual self,heard something tht i didnt like n yeah sorta scolded one of his classmates.so yeah after th he asked me t hang up n yeah called me.had a talk wif him n yeah found out somethings tht he didnt like n yeah it was sorta like a wake up cal.things hv really gone tht bad til tht he has t tok t me in such a manner n yeah gotta do some soul-searching.i really do wna change my hot-tempered attitude n some other shit.bt i really do nt noe whr t start frm.i really did try t change bt maybe its juz nt visible enough.i really do hate my current self,nt bein able t control my anger n in other words my mouth.its quite fucking stupid,i noe very clear abt wd i hv t change bt i juz cant seem t.isit really th saying tht ure heart does wd ure head dun wna do?i keep telling myself i wna change bt i juz simply cant.it seems so hard fr me juz t let things go in one ear n come out of th other,i wuld hv t argue my fucking way out n yeah.its really quite senseless doing all these n yeah i hv realised it bt stil nth much seems t change abt my behaviour.i noe these few months i havent been my usual self n yeah i cant really seem t tolerate almost anything nowadays.i juz hv t get it outta my chest n yeah den i wuld feel better.i oso cant seem t let my anger out in other ways n ive gotta do all these stupid things.wd casey hv said t me made quite alotta sense n yeah im tryin t change bt den i oso dunno wd t do.i swear i wil change nt only fr casey's sake,bt oso fr my family,my frens n most importantly myself.no use putting up a fake act juz t show ppl tht ive "changed" or wd.wad i really wan t do nw is only fr myself.n i dun wan tis current me anymore.it really sucks,i wuld rather be my old-self n juz lepark over small things n nt make it big like wd im doin nowadays.casey mark my words i wil change.though talk is cheap bt im gna prove it t u i can do it!so it goes on tht tis day i wna juz giv up n try stop liking her.its getting t nowhere,noeing tht it wont hv any outcome.sometimes i really do wna talk t her bt yeah i juz wna forget her n juz dao her or show her attitude.ive gotta admit i stil like her alot at tis point of time,bt stil facts are facts n yeah ive gotta face it.its gna take me sometime bt yeah i wuld.juz hope tht she wuld lead a happy life n yeah thts wd im juz asking fr.okays so yeah i do nt wan t comment any further cuz i oso wan t do some thinking.so yeah im really try n come out as th old brian.frm tis day onwards i swear i wuld change.so yeah ive gotta do alot of thinking abt myself as a person,fren n family member.other things i oso need some time t think it over so yeah seeya guys til den.nitenite
=))-briann'
